Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
