My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
