STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I cannot find my penis.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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