break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
