So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You've changed since you got that strap on
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
