I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
