I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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