Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
