so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
