I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
