So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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