Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She announced her abortion via fbk
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
