She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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