If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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