Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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