Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
