She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
