You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
