Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
