Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We talked him into tasing himself.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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