New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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