Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
