I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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