her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
