She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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