Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
