My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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