One girl and one boy is just not enough.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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