I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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