$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Randomize
