I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
me + whiskey = a bad person
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
