I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
