East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Who wears a wallet chain?!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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