So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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