well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
