As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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