Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
