i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
