Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
