I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
