kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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