STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
