I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
