get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
