THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
