All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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