How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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