I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
