billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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