Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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